No Foothold

“for the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in the miry depths, where there is no foothold. I have come into the deep waters; the floods engulf me. I am worn out calling for help”

I’m not sure if you are like me, but when I read this quote from one of the psalmist in the Bible, I can totally relate. In fact, I had a meltdown just this morning because I felt exactly this way. Emotions of weariness, feeling overwhelmed, and guilt. I’ve always been a huge dreamer so at times throughout my life, the dreams I have just seem way too out of reach. They don’t make sense. They can feel like jumping into the middle of the ocean because of how beautiful and mysterious it is, but then at dusk realizing it’s hard to swim when land is so far away and it is dark all around you. The night does not bring clarity, and the next steps are never outlined or given to us, so we must swim…and swim…and swim some more into the unknown and into greater depths. I ask God sometimes “Please take away these desires, because life would be SO much easier if I didn’t have dreams or didn’t live in great expectation. OR at least if I keep chasing these dreams of mine, please give me a foothold a.k.a. a boat so I don’t have to keep treading with my head barely above water!!”

Trusting is hard. It is against our own nature. Just take the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible. They were given EVERYTHING. Life was literally set up perfectly for them…but they still didn’t trust. They thought that “more” would make them happy and that self-reliance was greater than trust in their Creator. Oh how I am still fighting this curse that has been instilled in all of humanity since the beginning of time!

the longing for more…

the overwhelming feeling we get when life’s circumstances make us doubt God…

the curveballs that life throws our way that bring out the worst in us…

Here is what I’m getting at: This morning felt overwhelming to me, but God really just wanted my TRUST. I’ve never gone without, and, based on my past, I know He is faithful to give me my hearts desires as long as they align with His. For me, it is music that has been healing and has brought me so much joy throughout my life. For you, maybe it is another dream or another passion, but I know I’m not alone in feeling discouraged from time to time. So today I am reminding myself of what I do know, and letting go of the things I don’t. I’ll tread if I have to tread, and I’ll float if I have to float. All because in the end, I know if I never jumped into the deep blue waters of the ocean, I would never know the true beauty that comes from letting go.